Jesus H Winnipeg, Cheer the Hell Up

Ok 85% of you Winnipeggers. What in the bejeebus is it going to take to make you happy? Huh? What? Because no matter what you whine for, pine for, beg for or insist on, the  MINUTE you get it, you find something wrong with it. ALWAYS. Oh, you think I’m wrong? You feelin’ a touch defensive? Let me refresh your whiny goddamn memory. Sit back, relax, and just listen to yourselves.

Case in point number 1 – We want an NHL team. No wait. We want OUR NHL team back. The old one. And you better call them the Jets. Oh whats that? We have them and you called them the Jets? Well then the logo better be pretty effing cool. Oh whats that? You’re changing the logo? Oh em gee it better be wicked or we just won’t like the Jets AT ALL anymore. THAT’S the logo??? Fuck the Jets man.

Case in point number 2 – We want a new stadium. The old one is horrible and gross and rickety and an embarrassment to the city of Winnipeg. It has gross bathrooms and small seats and is Just. Not. Good Enough. Oh whats that? We get a new stadium? Its going to be state of the art and likely the nicest one in all of Canada? Well then it better be ready the friggin SECOND you said it was going to be ready or we just won’t like the Bombers anymore. Never mind that its an architecturally intense structure that we don’t want to get wrong, its late. Its late and the world just stops turning cuz YOU SAID it would be ready. Oh whats that? We don’t get the trough to pee in anymore and the team lost this year? Fuck the Bombers man.

Case in point number 3 – We want an Ikea. We’re a big, all-growed-up city now and we deserve a big, all-growed-up store. Winnipeg has been holding its breath for decades to bring in a furniture store to monopolize the really-neatly-designed-but-crappily-made furniture market and goddammit we NEED this. It will show the rest of Canada that we aren’t the stupid little brother anymore. Oh whats that? Its coming and is going to open on time? Well did you not realize that it was going to put smaller home decor stores out of business and the products are horrible and don’t come with instructions and only losers admit to shopping at Ikea? Fuck Ikea man.

Winnipeg. Get. Over. Yourselves.


Your Face Is Dirty

Its Movember. Which, in reality, is one of the most brilliant, unique and popular fundraising initiatives I have seen in a long, long time. Everyone loves to get involved and the words “MoBros” and “MoSisters” are flung about willy nilly. And while participation and donations skyrocket for prostate cancer and mens cancers in general, I long for December 1 when the creepy looking dudes in the office who just can’t swing proper facial hair get to wipe that catepillar off of their faces.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some that can rock the handlebar and some that normally have a moustache of some kind. There are some who clearly have no idea how to properly keep it trimmed and groomed. There are some that need to “anchor” it with a goatee (bless the goatee). But there are some that look like 13 year old boys who haven’t had their first shave yet because Look Mom I’m a MAN Now!

I walked up to a colleague near the end of the month last year and said “Oh, did you only just start your fundraising?” He looked a little hurt and murmured “Noooo.” Oh. “Sorry” I said.

My boss is participating this year. When I saw his name on the list I sat with it for awhile and determined that no, no I could not picture him with any sort of facial hair. I told him as much too. He reassured me that there would be a full goatee happening and even with that, I find myself a bit taken aback every time I go into his office. My first thought when I realized he was participating was an immediate “What meetings does he have this month where he will have to present, in front of people, with that THING on his face?”

I now find myself walking around stores and malls and wondering “is that your real look or is that your Movember attempt?” Moustaches are not something I normally notice on a person (well, unless they’re female, then its kind of ALL you notice), but just the fact that for the month of November, ALL you think about are moustaches and who has ’em? Well, as a previous non-profit, medical related fundraising professional, I give you a standing ovation for the birth of Movember. Bravo.

Time to go buy some stock in Gillette. I have a funny feeling in a couple of weeks it will skyrocket.

Mirror, Mirror

When you have lost an amount of weight that is deemed somewhat significant (35lbs), when do you think you start to actually see that person in the mirror?

I have kept this weight off for over a  year now. I run when I feel like it (certainly not as much as before) and I still eat well so the weight has successfully stayed off. And yet, more often than not I still feel like that heavier person. There are a few outfits that I put on and think, ok, yes, smaller, fitter, definitely. But then there are the days where I feel the exact same as before. Maybe its a time thing. I was THAT weight for 9 years, it will take a few to get to feel like me at THIS weight.

This all kind of hit me last night. A technician was describing something that was going on in my body and said “Because you are thin, you’ll feel it more.” Because I am thin. A stranger who did not know that I was 35 lbs heavier a year ago called me thin. Huh. How bout that?

I know I am fit. I know I am strong. I know I do not long to be “skinny”. I believe that some muscle definition is sexy. I believe in having a healthy goal weight. I beleive the old adage that muscle weighs more than fat and will not be ruled by the scale. I believe the combo of weights and cardio is the way to go and that fat loss is born in the kitchen. I believe that mirrors show both flaws and successes, regardless of what you choose to focus on. And I believe that random unintentional compliments from strangers will help you see more of the successes and less of the flaws looking back at you.